One Hot Mess of a Maid of Honor

Yep... that's going to be me.

First off... I realize that I am technically a "Matron" of Honor, but that just sounds old. The bride is listing me as a "matron" on the program. I was originally going to protest this, but then I thought that if I am going to be 6 1/2 months pregnant at this wedding, I had better be a matron rather than a knocked up "maid."

So why am I going to be a hot mess?

Well... lets start with the dress... It's really quite cute.. here's a pic, but you'll have to imagine it in a cranberry red color.

The problem is, it came from I Do I Do Bridal. We ordered the dresses ages ago, so when I found out I was pregnant I went back in and ordered some extra fabric to do alterations. (AKA...make some room for the belly.) I won't digress, but I Do I Do no longer exists and the new owner has no idea about my order. (If it was ever placed, etc.) This means that I'm just going to have it altered using A) The fabric from the dress itself (like bring up the hem to give the tailor a couple of inches to work with) or B) Try and find a similar fabric from a fabric store. (Like that's going to happen) Either way, I have this feeling I'm going to look like a cast off from Project Runway.

Now for the shoes... The wedding is taking place outside... in the country.... on a hill. It will be a gorgeous setting for a Fall wedding. The bride is just asking us to wear gold shoes but she is recommending flats so we don't sink in the mud with every step. This is just great if you are like the bride who happens to be 6'. Asking a 5'5 pregnant person to wear a tea length dress and flats? You might as well ask a tree stump to pose for pictures. So... In order to gain some height and give my legs a fighting chance of showing I purchased gold wedge heels. If the phrase "gold wedge heels" isn't a hot mess, then I don't know what is. Oh-- and I already have several pairs of gold heels, so I wasn't in the mood to spend a lot of money on them.

Check out these beauties that are on their way as we speak... all $28 of them.

I can't decide if I should be wearing them to a wedding or a Golden Girls reunion. These have Blanche written all over them.

And finally.. I haven't given a speech since freshman year of college. Obviously as the maid of honor I am going to have to. I just can't believe that I have to do this stone cold sober. I wouldn't have gotten wasted, but a couple of beers to help loosen me up to the idea of speaking in public would have helped. I don't think the baby would appreciate it, so I'm going to do my best without any booze.

I'll report back after the wedding and include some photos of me as a hot pregnant mess. :)